Tuesday, April 3, 2012

My Dream Cast for an All-Female Version of Reservoir Dogs

It sucks to admit it, but the coolest characters in movies are always played by men. We usually get to see the men be the badasses, the eccentrics, and the oddballs, while the women are stuck in the caregiver or the love interest role. I was reading recently about how Jason Reitman directed an all black version of Reservoir Dogs with actors like Lawrence Fishburne and Terrence Howard, and I thought that was super cool. Then I was thinking about how cool it would be if they did a production with an all female cast. So, I've been thinking all day about who I would cast in an all-female version of Tarantino's classic film. Here is who came to mind:

Joe Cabot
Originally played by: Lawrence Tierney
It would need to be an older actress who could be intimidating and a total grumpy boss lady. I think that this would be a perfect role for someone like Glenn Close. And after seeing her in The Fighter, I think that Melissa Leo would be great too.


Nice Guy Eddie
Originally played by: Chris Penn

When thinking about this, for some reason Christina Ricci came to mind. I think she could bring in that mixture of humor and sleaze that nice guy Eddie has and I can just picture her yelling, "Stop pointing that gun at my daaad!" (Well, mom in this case...) Also, I just love Christina Ricci and would love to see her in everything.

Mr. White
Originally played by: Harvey Keitel

Such a tough choice! I had three actresses come to mind for the female version of Mr. White. She would have to be someone the others could respect but would also have to be really likable. This would be a great role for actresses like Catherine Keener, Frances McDormand, and Holly Hunter.


Mr. Orange
Originally played by: Tim Roth
This person would be playing and undercover cop who spends most of the movie bleeding to death. I think that Melanie Laurent would be great in this role. I loved her in Inglourious Basterds, and think that she would own this role.

Mr. Pink
Originally played by: Steve Buscemi
This one was actually the hardest for me to think of. There really isn't a female Steve Buscemi. After thinking about it for a while though I thought of Toni Collette for this, and then I couldn't think of anyone else. She would be perfect!
Mr. Blonde
Originally played by Michael Madsen
My first thought was to cast Angelina Jolie in this part. She makes such a great villain and her performance as sociopath Lisa Roe in Girl Interrupted proves that she could do a role like this. The problem with her in the role though is that she is maybe too big of a star and it would distract from the character. So, another person that I think would be great would be the original Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Noomi Rapace.





Mr. Brown
Originally played by: Quentin Tarantino
This isn't a very big role. This person would just need to tell the Like a Virgin story in the diner scene and then get killed off right away. I would be kind of cool if Tarantino muse Uma Thurman did a little cameo as this role.

31 comments:

  1. You can rename it Reservoir Bitches.

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  2. Awesome! I would totally pay to see that!

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  3. Horrible Cast Selection! Christina Ricci?!?!?! WHAT?! WHY?? Uma Thurman playing a bit role in a Tarantino all-female remake?! No effin way!

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  4. Louise Fletcher - Joe Cabot (see latest season of Shameless)
    Robin Weigert - Nice Guy Eddie (Calamity Jane in Deadwood)
    Katey Segal - Mr White (Gemma Teller in Sons of Anarchy)
    Rooney Mara - Mr Orange (Lisbeth Salander version 2.0))
    Melissa McCarthy - Mr Pink (Megan from Bridesmaids)
    Kristin Bauer - Mr Blonde (Pam from Trub Blood)
    Naya Riviera - Mr Brown (going out on a limb with this one - Santana from Glee)

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  5. Ellen Page could play Mrs. Pink, a few years from now, maybe.

    Gina Gershon could play Mrs. Blonde.

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    Replies
    1. I thought the same thing for the role of Mrs. Blonde. She would own it and kill it!

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  6. Juliette Lewis as either Ms. Blonde or Ms. Pink. Because she's just that awesome.

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  7. Charlize Theron should be in here. Maybe as White.

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  8. Sadly woman aren't cast in these types of roles because when they are they suck at it.
    This is an observation from someone with a vagina.
    It wouldn't be good, it just wouldn't.
    In terms of acting, so far men are just more versatile & believable. -sigh-

    & Keener, or Holly? I mean come on. No.
    No one can compare.

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  9. This is a good list. I don't mean to be argumentative, but there isn't a single person of color in the bunch. I know the original didn't either, but I think if you are going to re-imagine it, why not go all the way?

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  10. Michelle Forbes could easily play Joe Cabot, Mr.White, Mr.Blonde or even Mr.Brown (though she'd be wasted in the part). There a few women out there in acting land that share her emotionally grounded strength.
    Plus she's already taken over a tough guy role in a remake and left the original actor in the dust back when she guest starred on Battlestar Galactica.

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  11. patty hearst as mrs. blue

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  12. Sara Silverman would make an inspired Mrs. Pink.

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  13. Totally love Michelle Forbes! She would rock this!

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  14. Any one who's seen Winters Bone or season 2 of Justified knows that Margo Martindale would be the most obvious choice for the Joe Cabot.

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  15. I thought Kate Micucci was the young female Buscemi. Is she too young?

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  16. This is a pretty white cast.

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    1. agreed, no major studio would put out this kind of a movie with such a limited casting.

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    2. and by kind i mean remake with high expectations

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  17. Zoe Saldana (maybe Rose Byrne) as "Orange," Charlize Theron as "Blonde," Tilda Swinton as "Joe Cabot," Abbie Cornish as "Nice Guy Eddie," Emmy Rossum as "Pink, Maya Rudolph as "Brown," Uma Thurman as "White" (assuming Tarantino's involvement, and Holly Hunter if not)and, in the ultimate throwback tribute, Pam Greer as "Blue."

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  18. You say, "there isn't really a female Steve Buscemi". Maybe not now, but in her 1970's prime Shelley Duvall could have fit the bill nicely. Not a big fan of RD in the first place, though, so what do I know?

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    1. I really don't think Duvall could play Mrs. Pink. She's too much of a pushover.

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  19. fannnta2 10/april2012 02:09am i think Brenda Fricker would own the joe cabot character she can play a though lady when given the chance.

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  20. How about Pink as Ms. Pink? She said she picked the name "Pink" from Mr. Pink in the original, so this would be her way of giving back. I would see Pam Grier or Stella Stevens more as Josephine Cabot.

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  21. A friend of mine was a part of a theater production in LA as Ms. White in "Reservoir Bitches" last year. It was pretty damn awesome.

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  22. I hate Scarjo and Jessbiel but you know that they would jockey for a role in something like this.

    My picks: Carla Gugino, Zoe Saldana, Michelle Rodriguez, Bonnie Bedelia, Rutina Wesley (True Blood), Juliette Lewis, Marissa Tomei, Taraji Henson, Margo Martindale & Michelle Forbes (would be awesome too) pretty much any solid actress that isn't afraid to get down and dirty as far as I'm concerned (I know this is a totally random list but there it is.)

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  23. this whole premise is incredibly stupid

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  24. I would think Daryl Hannah should have a part in any potential remake. Maybe blonde?

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  25. A dream cast only if they use real bullets for the final scene.

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